god...dark chocolate (60% in this case)..isn't a candy to me. its like...soothing/healing/love/warm/cry all night. suddenly everything is alright, where it's supposed to be. i can see in the 4th dimension for just a little bit. just a little bit...pip pip. i can never die, but will die, and will always be dying. so it goes.

can you tell what book I read today?

i've applied for a job at two places so far...will do the third tomorrow. will also paint the dining room. and mow the lawn. and take my calculus final.

i need to clear away the fog. maybe a huge, metaphorical sponge will do. i need to be able to hunt for fresh sentences in order to tackle the common application. i feel so empty otherwise. i got a package from swarthmore in the mail today. i'm very happy i'm applying. i think i could do very well there. they gave me a dvd and everything; pretty nifty. beautiful campus.

i wish it were that easy for everything.

i want my amherst essay to just flow out of me like a string of leaves caught in a gale. natural and uncalled for. beautiful. i don't want to linger. i feel like, with amherst, my life is on the line. i more than need to get in. and i don't know why. amherst knows. i only wish i could ask the woods.

a new picture will be up soon, i guess. this one's outdated. that part of me died when i cut my hair. like setting birds on fire hoping to god one's a phoenix in disguise, i want to destroy my opinions and my self. so it goes.

i want to be reborn with the Winter.